Are You Negotiating… or Being Monstered? How to Unlock Hidden Leverage

Most negotiators don’t lose because they have less power… they lose because they convinced themselves they should lose.

At Scotwork, we specialise in helping organisations facing monopoly suppliers, dominant customers, and militant unions. When we first talk with commercial teams, they often begin the conversation with the same conclusion: “We don’t really have any choice… we need a deal.”

They are right about one thing: protecting the relationship and maintaining capability, supply, or key accounts is critical. But what often surprises us is that they have quietly accepted something that has never actually been tested: Is your counterpart actually prepared to be flexible?

Key Takeaway: ‘Monstering’ yourself happens when you assume you have zero leverage before entering the room. Conceding prematurely without testing your counterpart’s flexibility unintentionally signals that you have more to give – inviting even tougher demands next time.

In 1939 at the University of Iowa, Wendell Johnson and Mary Tudor conducted an experiment on 22 orphaned children that later became known as the ‘Monster Study’. While both the science and ethics of the experiment have rightly been criticised, one aspect remains fascinating: a number of perfectly normally speaking children developed speech problems after they were repeatedly told they had them.

Whether or not every conclusion from that study stands up today isn’t really the point. The negotiation lesson certainly does. We see capable, experienced negotiators “monster” themselves every single week.

Before they’ve even entered the room, teams convince themselves they have no leverage. They start negotiating with themselves instead of with their counterpart:

• Lowering Aspirations: Dropping targets before discussions even start.
• Never Testing Flexibility: Failing to qualify whether the counterpart’s opening position is fixed or negotiable.
• Softening Language: Not asking directly for what they need and avoiding asking for reciprocal concessions.
• Unused Power: Failing to negotiate to the full extent of the actual leverage they possess.

Powerful counterparts behave exactly as you’d expect. If you don’t challenge their opening position, they conclude they weren’t asking for enough.

The result? The next demand is tougher, and the opening position next year is even more aggressive. By conceding without testing the limits, you’ve unintentionally signalled that you weren’t anywhere near your boundaries—and next time, they will push even further.

Power isn’t simply about having more alternatives than your counterpart. It’s about recognising and using the power you already have. In our experience, almost every negotiation contains leverage that hasn’t been explored.

The question isn’t whether your counterpart is powerful—it’s whether you’ve got a plan to protect yourself and deploy the leverage you have.

The most expensive concession in many negotiations is the one that never needed to be made. Don’t negotiate with yourself first.

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It means convincing yourself that you have zero power before the negotiation even begins. This leads teams to lower their aspirations, soften their demands, and make unforced concessions without ever testing if the counterpart was willing to be flexible.

When you accept an opening stance without pushback, the counterpart assumes their initial request was too easy and that you have more value to give. This signals weakness and encourages them to make tougher demands in future deal cycles.

Facing a high-stakes negotiation with a dominant player? Get in touch with Scotwork today.